I loved this blog post on  Aristocat Transportation’s  Aristocat is a Limo service fleet right here in Michigan, in the Detroit area.  Check them out to view their services for weddings!    Many thanks to Amber Frawley for allowing us to share this with all of you; we like to share the love of other local vendors!
Since it is the month of February, and Valentines day is a big day for proposals, I am sharing this because many of you will be considering after you say “yes,” who will my bridal/groom attendants be.  

Turtle Pond PhotographyThe winter is a popular time for engagements and the beginning of the wedding planning process. One of the first things on the couple’s mind may be to pick out their bridal party, best man and maid of honor. This can sometimes be a hard task for couples, because they have to decide how many people they want to stand up, if any siblings need to be included, sibling spouse and way more. So consider it as an honor if you are asked to stand up in someone’s wedding.

When you get asked take a minute to seriously consider all that goes into being a bridal party member. Will you have the time, funds and support available to offer your friend during their wedding planning process all the way up until their wedding? If you know you have a busy schedule during that time or taking extra classes, let them know. They will be happier if you tell them up front rather than not being able to attend events and be involved. Let them know that you would still love to help out though, but maybe as an usher or a reader. If all lights are green then go ahead and get ready for some wedding extravaganza!

General Bridal Party Etiquette

Once you accept an offer to be a member of a friend’s bridal party here are a few things to keep in mind. Number one, it’s not your wedding, repeat….you are not getting married! Remember that it is your friend’s day, not yours, so be respectful of their wishes. Now that that’s been established, know that you are going to be their support system, attend parties and potentially help out with DIY projects and invitations. Note that you are not their slave and do not have to be there at their beck and call. There are certain events that bridal party members are expected to attend and are explained below. Although make sure that you are not sacrificing your work or life just to help with their wedding, keep a good balance and know when to say no if needed. Check out each specific bridal party role for more information on general duties.


As a bridesmaid, you are the bride’s support system during the wedding. Whether it is helping her pick out a dress, going to a bridal show or decorating. Here are some of the general duties as a bridesmaid:

  • Attend all pre-wedding functions; include engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party. It is customary to bring a gift to these events.
  • Assist in planning bridal shower and bachelorette party events
  • Get fitted and order bridesmaid dress. Make sure you order it on time and get the correct, style and color.
  • Purchase shoes for the wedding that the bride approves of or picks out
  • Start practicing desired hair and makeup styles for wedding if you are doing your own or start saving to pay on the wedding day and have the stylist and makeup artist do it
  • Help address save-the-dates and wedding invitations
  • Assist in assembling other wedding décor, like favors or wedding programs
  • Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner the day before the wedding
  • Arrange for lunch for the wedding day while getting ready
  • On the wedding day, help out where needed, carry bride’s touch-up bag and other items as needed
  • Help pack away any decorations as needed


Alright dudes, you’ve got it pretty easy on your part compared to the girls so have fun with it!

  • Attend pre-wedding events, like the engagement party and bachelor party
  • Assist with planning bachelor party
  • Get fitted and order  correct style, cut and color of tux and dress shoes on time
  • Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner; so you don’t get lost
  • Assemble and help set up wedding items as needed
  • Plan some day-of activity like golfing before the wedding
  • After the ceremony get ready for some pictures and some mingling!
  • Help pack up any wedding décor as needed

Maid of Honor and Best Man

The maid of honor and best man typically do the same duties as the bridesmaid and groomsmen with a few extra responsibilities.

Maid/Matron of Honor:

  • Same as above under bridesmaid
  • If there are two of you in this role then share the responsibilities and planning
  • Plan bachelorette party, including venues, menu, invitations, transportation and more
  • Attend any vendor meetings or tastings with the bride as needed
  • Sign the marriage license as a witness after the wedding ceremony
  • Give toast for the bride and groom at the wedding reception, you usually go first

Best Man:

  • Same as groomsmen above
  • Plan bachelor party including locations, food, transportation, invitations and more as needed
  • Go with groom to accomplish wedding tasks as needed, such as picking out tuxes
  • Carry the wedding bands during the ceremony
  • Sign marriage license as a witness after the wedding ceremony
  • Give a toast for the bride and groom during wedding reception
  • Prank the “getaway” vehicle with the bridal party for fun

Being a member of a friend or family member’s bridal party is an honor and a fun role in helping the couple celebrate their wedding. Once you have been asked to stand up in a wedding ask the bride or groom what their expectations are and if they had any particular responsibilities in mind other than those noted above. Enjoy this time and know that you are a big part of helping their wedding come together.

 Photo credit: Turtle Pond Photography.